Unexpectedly, Harry felt a stab of guilt at that confession.
It was possible he'd been one of those men once - not with Q, of course. But he was both closeted and in a job where it was against the code to have relationships, to let yourself to get too close to anyone. Every tryst he'd ever had in his life - it hadn't meant anything. When he felt himself wanting more, or felt the other man wanting more, he cut it off. Perhaps this was why these trysts had been so sparing.
Harry was convinced that this would all shake out in a way that did not include him, in the end. But he couldn't make himself walk away either. What he'd told Q had been right - he didn't know how to form relationships, not the way normal people did. The fact that he'd gotten so close to Q, that he was so comfortable with him, that wasn't something he was willing to give up. At least, not yet. Not until it started causing him more pain than comfort. Which might not be far off, considering how complicated this was getting.
"Honestly..." he said after a moment, "I find this all too alien to even be able to object properly."
Then he looked at Bond. "And you needn't worry, I don't fear you." The words were not a threat exactly, but he hoped that by now the man knew not to underestimate him.
no subject
It was possible he'd been one of those men once - not with Q, of course. But he was both closeted and in a job where it was against the code to have relationships, to let yourself to get too close to anyone. Every tryst he'd ever had in his life - it hadn't meant anything. When he felt himself wanting more, or felt the other man wanting more, he cut it off. Perhaps this was why these trysts had been so sparing.
Harry was convinced that this would all shake out in a way that did not include him, in the end. But he couldn't make himself walk away either. What he'd told Q had been right - he didn't know how to form relationships, not the way normal people did. The fact that he'd gotten so close to Q, that he was so comfortable with him, that wasn't something he was willing to give up. At least, not yet. Not until it started causing him more pain than comfort. Which might not be far off, considering how complicated this was getting.
"Honestly..." he said after a moment, "I find this all too alien to even be able to object properly."
Then he looked at Bond. "And you needn't worry, I don't fear you." The words were not a threat exactly, but he hoped that by now the man knew not to underestimate him.